This was my Goodbye Letter.
In 2013, I was on my balcony, writing this song. This was before I realised the severity of my depression.
I decided to release this original English version today, not for only mental health and suicide awareness, but also as an act of reaching my hand out to anyone who’s been there, or is struggling now. I felt really alone that night, and I don’t want anyone else to ever feel that way.
You are never alone. There is always hope, always a guarantee that life will get better. I know I say this a lot, but I truly am living proof that happiness is possible after such darkness.
This song is very heavy, and in all honesty, I’m pretty darn scared to share it with you all. Because it’s just too personal.
But I made a commitment a few years ago to share my story in order to help others, and I’ll continue to proudly be a part of this movement. We must talk openly about these things, in order to change the stigma around it.
It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to be struggling.
We’ll get there. Life is oh so beautiful. I promise you!
PS
“3 years later I am here today…”
The end of this song was recorded 3 years after my darkest night (it still took me a while to be ready to share this with everyone), and I am so happy to say NOW? 6 years later! I am STILL here today!!
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Tonight
Composed by Lesley Chiang / Yu
Lyrics by Lesley Chiang
Produced by Team One Sound / Lesley Chiang
Starting to really think
That I am really sick
I’m unhappy everyday
And the only thing that will really make me feel okay
Is if I just keep on lying
“Everything is fine.”
And you are still my man
Don’t ever want nobody to know that our love has ended
I do not know how I have sank so low and
I cannot let go
I’m incomplete
I feel like it is time
As If I had just died
This pain goes on
So endlessly
I have lost my mind
Pathetic little piece of shit
Not even strong enough to face this
I know my place this time
I’m just your fan, a nobody
I won’t stand in your way
Say goodbye tonight
I’m leaving tonight
Our story ends tonight
Tell me, where did I go?
It’s like I’ve lost my soul
I can’t feel the love no more
Is there even a reason why I should keep living on?
So much time has gone
And I still can’t move on
Would it even be a threat
If I say to you that I really just might go and end it?
I should mean more to you
I was right there for you
I still think our break was incomplete
I will give you more time
I’ll reflect and rewind
I will love you endlessly
I have lost my mind
Pathetic little piece of shit
Not even strong enough to face this
I know my place this time
I’m just your fan, a nobody
I won’t stand in your way
Say goodbye tonight
I’m leaving tonight
Our story…
It’s my one last try
To make things alright
My heartbreak ends tonight
3 years later I am here today
Can I just say that
I am still alive
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If you or someone you know needs help, you can call the Suicide Prevention Services 生命熱線 at 2382 2007.
